Marriage Conference

Matt and I attended a marriage conference at Pantego Bible Church this weekend. It was good to get out just the two of us for a change. A big thanks to Beverly who kept Parker Friday night, and GiGi for keeping Parker Saturday morning so we could go. It was like a church service in some aspects that touched on topics regarding marriage. To summarize what we learned here are a few topics they talked about...

1. Why God created marriage- for a partnership, procreation, to complete us and to communicate HIS love. 1 Cor. 7: 2-3

2. Understanding our spouses most important needs in life. It might be acceptance, affection, appreciation, approval, attention, encouragement, respect, security, support or comfort. These feelings are not always constant either they could change day to day. What we learn about our spouse as years go by is how to recognize which one our spouse needs the most at that point in time.

3. How to communicate effectively- there are 3 levels of communication in a marriage and family.
-Level 1-Living Room Communication- we share what we know. Example: kids need to be picked up at 6:00 (surface talk)
-Level 2-Kitchen Communication-we share how we feel about things. Example: I liked this food you cooked tonight. This level can be a little bit more risky.
-Level 3-Bedroom Communication- the more intimate communication such as how you are really feeling about something, the deeper things in life.

Something that we found interesting about this section was try not to ever use the words "Never" and "Always" in a negative comment. It will attack the other person and they will turn away and become defensive. Also try to use "I" rather than "you". Instead of saying "You never remember to take out the trash", say "I took out the trash this time if you wouldn't mind taking it out next time". It becomes more receptive from the other person.

The 3rd session was about resolving conflicts
1. Do whats right--recognizing your spouses love language Rom 12:17-18
2. Confront in Love
3. Measure your words (be quick to listen and slow to speak) Prov. 18:21
4. Get to the real need- sometimes people often forget what they were initially fighting about and bring up all kinds of other issues that should have been left alone.
5. Never go to bed angry Eph. 4:26-27
6. Don't give up--statistics show than 50% of our society's marriages end in divorce. Isn't that so sad?!

Matt and I are coming up on our 4 year anniversary this week!! When we got married we didn't have the chance to go through a class like this. We just had a 2 hour session with the pastor that was marrying us. It was so refreshing to learn about each other as we listened to this conference. This has been the best 4 years of our lives and we can't wait to see what God brings us in the many years to come!!